It’s (lump) hammer time!

It’s hard to believe it’s only 3 days since I last posted so much has got done. This is why I love a visit from Mr James, stuff gets sorted.

Friday we had a bit of a setback, both the concrete and the road planings Darren had ordered were delayed, and not delivered until nearly 8pm, which was pretty useless as both Darren and Steve had both left long before.

They still had a tonne to do though, the road edge was smoothed out, the trench into the meadow for the tap filled in and the mound of earth at the edge of the property was shaped.


This is what happens when you have bored builders… They go scrumping…..


Tree climbing not working, only one thing to do!

Sigh… (Don’t worry, it got smoothed over later).


Time to gather up some of the rubbish and dump it in the skip, I think this might have gone a bit wrong.

I, in the meantime, decided to do a bit of tidying up in the fishpond garden, turns out I’m not that great at topiary, but I can only get better, stupid bloody gardening programmes make it look simple, but they’re not trying to trim a bleeding (literally, but me, not the bush) thorny as hell burberis which is about 3 foot taller than they are. Yep, I know the Yew hedge needs trimming, but MrC snr is on a mission there and I’m not going to interfere, besides which, he’s a LOT better at it than I am.

Finally the concrete and planings are delivered, Mr James can crack on Saturday, and hopefully be finished.


Saturday morning was still an early start, but I have to admit I did nothing more strenuous than picking and arranging some flowers for the house and getting some onions and greengages ready for preserving.

MrC and I headed off to Elvedon Forest for a day with the Caseys, poor MrC has a horribly swollen elbow so didn’t get to go swimming with us. I gathered all my brave (mostly due to being roundly mocked by teenage nieces) and went on the water slides and then they baited me to go on the darn Cyclone thingy.  NEVER AGAIN!  It was horrendous, if I need a near death experience I’ll stick to falling off buildings/trees or randomly stabbing myself with gardening equipment.

We then had a lovely walk through the forest and checked out the lodges everyone was staying in, they are really nice, definitely a great place for a family holiday.

Then MrC and I went for an hours target archery lesson, this was a right hoot, I’m seriously considering getting one for home, there is something deeply satisfying about thunking an arrow in to the centre(ish) of the target.

Poor Darren, despite working his socks off, didn’t get the road finished, but he did get enough done that the fencing peeps arriving Sunday morning could get down to the meadow.

Me, I decided today is the day, “the thing we don’t talk about” has to go, we’ve got a skip but it will be gone by next weekend, if I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it now.

I gathered some tools and it was time to beat a caravan to death with a lump hammer.


Stripped the inside (we found an extraordinary amount of booze bottles and cans in there, someone deffo liked their scotch).


I’m going to peel this bastard like a banana!


Meanwhile, the fencing guys are cracking on digging holes and punching in the supports, they had to borrow a sledge hammer from Mr James as the handle on theirs broke, the ground is very compact and they’re drilling down into clay.


Then a super surprise! My lovely friends Anne and Kev called by for a visit with their little one Felix, who loves diggers and dumper trucks, handy that, we’ve got a few dotted about the place 🙂

Darren took one final stint at trying to find the final waste water pipe, but alas to no avail, we found a soakaway, but no matter where we put the hosepipe, no water was trickling down to it, it’s either defunct on purpose or broken beyond repair.



Today we also took delivery of a new freezer, the one we have is just a half size, and it’s currently stuffed full of broad beans!  We had an old one that was here when we moved in, and very broken in the garage, so MrC did some freezer juggling (not literally, he’s my hero, but even he’s not that good), the old one was removed, the little one relocated to the garage and now I’ve got a lovely new and capacious freezer ready to store the glut of veggies we’ll be harvesting soon.

Felix then got a special treat, he was allowed to steer the dumper truck, I think he enjoyed it!

Work progresses on the caravan, MrC was called in to help, I was a bit worried it might collapse on me…

We’ve done as much as we can with a lumphammer, the inside is stripped, time for the big guns!

Insert the tune from Dam Busters here!

Or possibly the Top Gear Theme tune…



Caravan of horror, your doom is HERE!!!






I think it was at this point I started cheering, clapping, jumping up and down and yelling rather loudly “screw you caravan”



Note the happy smile of a master of destruction!  Darren, I salute you!




MrC and I then gathered up and ferried the debris over to the skip (it was a tedious job picking up every tiny bit of broken glass and wood, but we got it done) then it got crunched by the digger once again, it deserved it, stupid bloody caravan has taunted me for a year, I WIN SUCKER!


Darren, bless him got out his still saw and then sliced the chassis into manageable pieces so we could dump that into the skip as well, as I’m typing this, MrC is ferrying them into the skip, I’m too exhausted to assist, not sure I’m going to be able to get out of the chair without help….

So here it is, our long and winding road.  I have to admit, when MrC said he wanted a road, I thought he was barking, but as ever, he was right.  It gives the place a cohesion it lacked before, it brings a definition to the various areas of the property (and there are many), I’m a lucky woman, I married a man who has vision.  It looks a bit messy now, but we’ll grass up the edges and it will be fantastic in a few months.

Over the next few weeks this will bake in the sun (hopefully we get some sun) and harden off.

Thank you Darren, I take the mick, a lot, out of him, but I’m allowed to, he’s one of my dearest friends. However, he works incredibly hard and is so very talented at what he does, I’m grateful Mr James, Friday the beers are on me, no arguments!

Injury count this weekend, too numerous to mention, but the most painful is that one of my hand calluses got sliced off, and that really really hurts when I try to do ANTHING, still, it should grow back quickly enough. The worst thing, however, is the dirt, that caravan was beyond filthy, and I think most of it has rubbed off on me, if you want me, I shall be bathing, for about 3 days, I think it’s going to take at least that long to get clean.




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